Saturday, February 13, 2010

Home Improvement

Today I am painting my bedroom.  Mercifully, I have not received any canine assistance - yet.  Sam in particular, thinks that all paint jobs should be texturized.  His technique involves either brushing his tail along a freshly painted wall or lying down next to said wall.

In any case, I have just finished putting up the primer.  While I was doing this, I contemplated the variety of stains on the lower 2 feet of the walls.  As anyone with dogs knows, walls get dirty.  With Cardigans, it is the bottom 2 feet of the wall.  With boys you get, what I rather indelicately call, wenus juice.  Typically Understanding Roommate, who previously had a female dog, did not understand where all these small stains were coming from.  When I explained that boy dogs can't "shake it off" she nearly had a stroke laughing.  The laughter may have been enhanced by my pantomiming how a boy dog would have to move to accomplish that task.  Go ahead, take a second to visualize it.  It's pretty darned funny.

In any case, as I rollered Kilz over the stains (yes, I washed the walls first) I got to thinking about home improvements and what I would do if I were renovating or building my perfect dog-friendly home.

1) Poured concrete floors w/radiant heat.  Easily washable (see #2) and would help keep toenails short.
2) Central water - every room would have a drain and a spigot so I could just hose down the floors.
3) The lower portion of all the walls would be tile or another easily washable surface.
4) Extra wide doorways so groups of dogs could enter and exit areas without a bottle neck.
5) Sound proofed rooms so neighbors couldn't hear dogs barking in the house - or me yelling at dogs barking in the house.
6) Extra tall windows w/built in shades that would cover the lower half of the window so dogs couldn't see people, animals, etc. walking by to bark at.

Those are just a few of the things on my wish list.  What's on yours?


  1. You've got some great ones there! I can certainly relate to the discolored walls. Some of our walls look like we were trying for some kind of a gradated paint effect - darker on the bottom, lighter on the top. We get marks on corners where that cats rub their heads, too.

    I would add an automatic vacuuming system that would empty itself when full of hair. Oh, and it would be all-terrain, too so it could get up on the dog beds and vacuum them.

  2. I laughed myself silly visualizing the weinie shaking routine. My list has to include teaching Chase and baby Holmes how to shake off. Of course, given their infatuation with toilet paper, they might just learn to dab.