Monday, October 18, 2010

I Am a Convert

First, thanks to UHM for the guest post while I was out of town at the dog show.  Second, no we didn't get any points :( but, as a neighbor pointed out, Georgia got some "experience under her collar."  So did I, for that matter.

Now, on to my conversion.  My job does not require me to dress up.  If I did, people would wonder if I had a job interview.  I am quite happy wearing jeans to work every day - although sometimes I change it up by wearing khakis or cords!  Dog shows are a different thing though.  I feel obligated to look nice at dog shows.  My mentors have taught me that looking nice- even wearing a little bling - is a good thing.  For fall/winter shows that also means wearing stockings.  You know, nylons, pantyhose, whatever your mother taught you to call them.  Mine called them stockings.  I hate stockings.  I was never so happy as when company dress codes started to relax and I didn't have to wear them.  Now I have to wear them again - and for DOG SHOWS!  It's not like I'm even getting paid to dress nicely.

Knowing I would need stockings for this weekend, I gritted my teeth and bought a pair.  Only I didn't buy regular, control-top, light support stockings.  I took a chance, I listened to what I've been seeing and hearing in the media for the last several years and I bought Spanx.  Only I didn't really buy Spanx, I bought the Target brand, designed by the same woman who brought us Spanx.  The name they sell under is almost embarrassing - Assets.  Yes, I bought some Assets.  Ok, that makes it sound a little better.

Saturday morning I showered, shaved my legs, blow dried my hair, cursed because I didn't bring what little make up I do wear and then prepared to do battle with my Assets.  Anyone who has ever pulled on a pair of stockings knows it is a procedure fraught with danger.  Your nails can go through the fabric, you can snag them, you can get a leg twisted, if you don't pull them up just right the crotch ends up around your knees and no matter how many times you try to adjust them, it stays around your knees.  So I carefully pulled on my Assets.  And I pulled them up, and up, and up.....  Yeah, these are what is tactfully known as "shapewear" folks.  The design is such that if you get the wrong size you can wear them as pantyhose, girdle and bra all in one.  Fortunately, I had the right size and still needed a bra.

I got everything adjusted and then I pulled on the skirt I also bought at Target - on sale for less than $11.  The skirt that fit nicely without shapewear.  The skirt that was now at least a size too large because all my "shape" was being beautifully compressed by my Assets.  I am a convert.  Anything that can make me a size smaller -and not cut off the circulation to any vital parts - is ok and worth the money in my book.

I won't be wearing Assets all the time but I will buy a couple pair for dog shows and other events.  I guess it's really true what our mothers and grandmothers tried to tell us.  Having a good foundation garment makes all the difference.

1 comment:

  1. Reminds me of a line from Steel Magnolias:

    Truvy: Well, these thighs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them sice I was 14.
    Clairee: You were brought up right.